Self-Help is not that Complex
Messy pile of Self-Help books
Living your aligned life isn’t complex. It’s extremely simple.
We are all born knowing, innately, what’s right for us. This innate knowing leads to babies crying when they need something and parent’s having to figure out what’s being communicated. A parent doesn’t naturally know what the baby needs, but the baby absolutely knows it’s hungry, tired, or needs a cuddle.
Our culture and families train us to override our innate knowing and the wellness economy takes full advantage.
I know this is odd for a life coach to write, but it’s true. You don’t need a life coach, the latest self-help book, diet or exercise program.
Controversial? Yes. True? Yes.
The wellness economy has taught us to look outside ourselves for the answers we seek. The ones that will move us from unhappy, stuck, disappointed to happy, clear, and engaged. It’s an economy that’s projected to grow by 7.6% annually, reaching an estimated $9.8 trillion in 2029. Incredible! That projection includes wellness tourism, personal care/beauty, physical activity, springs, spas, mental wellness, traditional and complementary medicine, wellness real estate, workplace wellness, healthy eating, nutrition and weight loss, public health, prevention, and personalized medicine.
When I reflect on the time and money I’ve spent on wellness and consider the payoff or results, it’s very disappointing. There’s a big gap, and the investments were not worth the time or money. The real result is that none of the books, diet programs, or courses have helped me live my most aligned life.
So what has helped?
I reconnected with my innate knowing and learning to identify when I’m making choices from my Social Self and my Essential Self. The process was simple, but the actions I took as a result weren’t always easy. Full transparency - This is an on-going process as I have years of conditioning to work with (as most of you will too).
Some of the supports available in the wellness economy can be helpful. Mainly through listening, asking open questions, and reflecting back to me what I was saying or doing. For example, my therapist and life coach both listened and asked open questions, and provided support when I struggled with following through. Sometimes the actions our innate knowing want us to take, are easy, but others can be challenging. Challenging in that they impact who we believe we are or our role(s), our beliefs, or things we’ve done (e.g. job, relationships) for years, or where we feel safe.
Other folks in the wellness economy can be supportive in that they provide knowledge, or structure and accountability. People like nutritionists/dieticians, and personal trainers can be supportive, as long as they aren’t pushing you to do something that isn’t aligned with your knowing. When you first reconnect with your knowing, it can be easy to slip back under the influence of culture and expectations. So, tread carefully.
People deserve simplicity and accessibility in their life, not more complexity.
Working with your innate knowing is the best way to live YOUR life, and not the one you believe you SHOULD. It’s surprisingly easy to do, if you make it a priority.
Spend time in quiet every day and notice (without judgement) what happens in your mind and the quality of your thoughts.
Begin paying attention to your body. Notice the sensations periodically throughout the day and consider what’s happening, your environment or thoughts. Maybe there’s something you can do to feel just 1% better.
References
2025 Global Wellness Economy Monitor - Link
